Herstory with Lessons

In her April blog posting, Cris Young of Hudson Fasteners asked for personal stories that women could share through the blog. Over the years, I have heard many fastener guys sharing stories that they told to make a point, or to teach or to brag. These little “HIStories” always make me laugh. I am often awestruck at the human interest that is on display in these stories. But during the last four to five years, I have heard some pretty good “HERstories” as WIFI has encouraged fastener women to share their tales.

There are many stories from my years in the industry, but one in particular came to mind as I read Cris’ recent post. So here it goes . . .

Years ago, while making calls on distributors in the Chicago area, my next call was one that had historically not produced much in the way of sales. It was my last call of the day, so I thought about my approach and which products offered a potential sale. Like many small distributors in Chicago, the offices were kind of gloomy and the receptionist had me stand out in a small area while she announced my arrival. (“The Queen of Fasteners has arrived!” Well, . . . not so much.)

This was during a time in my short career in fastener sales that I thought it was important to be well dressed (perhaps overdressed) and to act very professionally (strictly business). These were also my feminist years and I felt very comfortable wearing women’s ties, which were kind of fab at the time. Since I didn’t have a lot of history with ties, the following conversation took me back.

The buyer was a newer buyer, but also someone I was familiar with. He stood and shook my hand and then sat down. There was no chair for me, which made me feel like a lengthy visit was not in my future. The first thing he said to me was: “Is it windy outside?” I responded: “I don’t recall, why do you ask?” He proceeded to point out that my tie was flung over my shoulder. I simply pulled the tie away from my shoulder and got down to business.

The ultimate lesson for myself (eventually), and others, is not to take yourself too seriously. The goal was to show that I was a professional, when the truth is that I am a human being. The tie and the professionalism were a combined effort to create a good first impression, but my connections were shallow and I was not having a good time. It took me a while to get there, but five years ago I gave it all up to be myself and take some risks by networking, a concept I always hated. Today, I can actually laugh at myself and now have more contacts than ever before. Several years ago, Terry Wing, who was a respected manufacturer’s rep in the Chicago area, introduced me to a woman he was chatting with at the MWFA Christmas dinner. His introduction was one that took me back and was very complimentary. I felt good and realized that I had grown up in the business.

The result of my experience was the co-founding of our organization, Women In the Fastener Industry. It is my hope that all women in our industry find themselves, find success and have fun working in our community. The doors are wide open. It is up to us to engage and grow.

Mary “Lou” Aderman

Chairwomen of the WIFI Board